The Longest Wait

Hello all Clarion and Clarion West applicants (and yes, acceptees, since I’m sure some of you have gotten good news by now! And congrats to you!). My stats have shown a huge spike since the forums at CW opened, so I’m assuming a good portion of that is fellow applicants scoping out ‘the competition’ and just getting to know other applicants. I know I’ve been doing the same. I’ve also checked out previous years’ forum threads and checked out those applicants’ blogs. (Some wonderful stuff there. If you haven’t done it yet, I suggest you do.)

Yes, I’ve got a massive case of the waiting-jitters. I haunt the forums in spare minutes, looking for signs of life, for the blaring news of acceptances (yay!) or rejections (oh, no!). How can I stop thinking about something so momentous? Honestly, I don’t really want to, either. I want to glory in the uncertainty, the shared tension. The adrenaline-surge speaks to me of life and hope and a future, all of which seem especially precious now.

Of course, I’m still writing. I started a new story today, inspired by a strange coincidence of thoughts about St. Patrick’s Day and SF. Hmm. Since I’m a seat-of-the-pants kind of writer, we’ll see where it goes.

I also put in words on another story, one I had just started when I got news of my sister’s death. It was hard to go back to that story. It’s mind-set is like that from when I was a girl growing up in small-town Ohio — when my sister was still very much a part of my life. It brings up memories, which often make me sad. So it’s going slower than normal, but I refuse to give up on it. I know Deb wouldn’t want me to. Even if it never sees publication, I’ll finish it, and be glad I did.

In completely non-writing related news, my home no longer looks like a squatters’ cardboard-box village. The place is still jumbled, but our belongings are finding permanent homes instead of being shuffled from room to room and pile to pile. I’m still forced to leave home to write (otherwise I’d rearrange piles instead of writing), but I can actually sit at my desk now! Soon, I’ll be writing from home. Until then, keep looking for me at my new favorite coffee shop, tapping away at the keys.

And good luck to Clarion SD and W applicants! Don’t be afraid to say hello.

And keep writing!

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About M.E. Garber

I'm an itinerant Ohio-born speculative fiction writer now living in north central Florida.
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